And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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