yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
