i jhust puked up my retainher.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
