Dual....:-)
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
sarcasm needs its own font
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
