So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
