I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
