The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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