Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
