There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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