my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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