What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
