i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
