Already got asked if we're dating
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
