Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
