so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
