My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
