everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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