i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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