It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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