yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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