I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This house was built for laser tag.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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