ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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