one might say we're banned from that church
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
