Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
soo... how was my night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize