why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
