We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
