And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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