oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
