I just pynch a tree in the face
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
