we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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