My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize