new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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