I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
