I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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