It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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