I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
