I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
