I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
