So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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