I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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