I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
