he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
