I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
