if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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