Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
