Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We had to coat check the pizza.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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