some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize