Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
