i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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