i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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