You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
