I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
