yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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