1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
handjob tips. give me some.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
