i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
