i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
