A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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