yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
