so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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