Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
