The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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