She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
